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Peiling030795 13+ Unitian ♥ Wishes
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Friday, July 17, 2009, 9:32 PM
JOKES!Joke 1 : A man approached the window of a movie theater with a chicken on his shoulder and asked for two tickets. "Who's the other ticket for?" the ticket girl asked. "For my pet chicken." He said, pointing to the bird. "I'm sorry," the girl tells him, "but we don't allow animals in the theater." The man walked around the corner of the building, and stuffed the chicken into his pants. He returned to the ticket window and bought a ticket, entered the theater, and sat down. The chicken started to get too hot, so the man, figuring it was okay because it was dark to unzipped his pants and let the chicken stick its head out. The woman seated next to him looked down in horror. She nudged her friend Amanda and whispered, "Amanda! This man next to me just unzipped his pants!" Amanda replied, "Oh, don't worry about it. Just ignore him. If you've seen one, you've seen them all." The woman whispered back, "I know, I know, but this one's eating my popcorn!" Joke 2 : One day a multi billionaire was bored, so he asked his butler to get him 3 men. A few hours later the butler comes back. The man says "OK I've a deal you can't refuse. Who can swim successfully across this pool filed with sharks, eels, and leaches. The winner may have whatever his heat desires." No one replies so the man gives up. All of a sudden the man hears a splash. One of the men is swimming as fast as he can, dodging all the sharks, eels, and leaches. The billionaire was so impressed that someone had enough guts take up his challenge. He congratulates the man and asks him what he wants. The man replies "I want the Sun of a Bitch who pushed me in" Joke 3 : A woman walks into a shop that sells expensive Persian Rugs. Looking around, she spots the perfect rug, walks over and inspects it. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she farts loudly. Very embarrassed she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her 'little accident' and hopes a sales person does not pop up right now. As she turns back, there standing next to her is a salesman. "Good day Ma'am, how may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably she asks, "How much does this rug cost?" He answers, "Lady if you farted just touching it, you're gonna crap your pants when you hear what the price is." Joke 4 : A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt comes to his table and asks, "What would you like, sir?" He looks at the menu and then scans her beautiful frame top to bottom, then answers, "A quickie." The waitress turns and walks away in disgust. After she regains her composure she returns and asks again, "What would you like, sir?" Again the man thoroughly checks her out and again answers, "A quickie, please." This time her anger takes over, she reaches over and slaps him across the face with a resounding "SMACK!" and storms away. A man sitting at the next table leans over and whispers, "Um, Pal, I think it's pronounced 'quiche'." Joke 5 : While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends late one night, the drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong. "What's that big brass gong for?" one of the guests asked. "Why, that's the talking clock" the man replied. "How does it work?" "Watch", the man said, giving it an ear-shattering pound with a hammer. Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "For fuck sake, you wanker, it's 2am in the fucking morning!!" Hahahaha, post so many jokes today. Some jokes, i really dun understand.. Muahahaha! Nothing to post, BYE! So HAPPIE! |